Since 2016 I have been living in the most toxic environment of my life. That says a lot considering I’ve lived through the Mexico City earthquake of 1985, a serious aircraft accident, or two and challenging the political status-quo in two different countries. I’ve even been threatened by drug dealers. In the U.S., there has always existed an anti-immigrant and anti-Mexican undercurrent in the country. It was there but you had to look to find it. That changed in 2016 when Donald Trump took the presidency.

I went looking for the anti-immigrant undercurrent and found it as evidenced by my posts about it. But I could always get a respite from it as long as I ignored it. But with Donald Trump, the war on immigrants is very much in my face.

As an immigrant it consumes me. I can’t get away from it. It is utterly demoralizing.

Yes, Donald Trump is the figurehead of the war on immigrants.

But Donald Trump cannot war on immigrants without support, outright and tacit.

That is what is demoralizing to me – as an immigrant.

It may be a minority of U.S. voters, and then maybe not, but the fact remains that there is a segment of the country that hates immigrants, like me.

That is the unvarnished fact.

I wake up in the morning and it is the first thing I feel.

I go to sleep at night thinking about the hate.

That is what my life, as an immigrant, has been for the last three years. It is what I will see for another year, or so, at the very least.

The only question I have now, is who will prevail in 2020 – outright unvarnished hatred of immigrants or will the country go back to keeping immigrant hate in the background?

It is impossible for me to dream of a country where immigrants are embraced and appreciated. That is too much to dream for. I just want to return to when immigrant bashing was the undercurrent in the country.

That says a lot about where we are today.